- How do you manage publishing papers under one name (maiden name) and then another name (married name) later on?
- How do you balance school life, work life, and family life?
- How easy is it to have children and still work on a doctorate?
- What do you do when you propose to someone and they laugh at you?
- If your "husband" gets a job in a new city/state would it be better to quit everything & move or stay and finish out the doctorate?
- How do you go about publishing something on your own?
- How far should one downplay their achievements to their potential in-laws so as not to overshadow what their son has done?
I haven't found a good source for these types of questions yet. I've asked what questions I know my co-workers will know the answer to, such as the publishing on your own question, but I really don't know anyone else in the same type of situation as myself. There are two other female engineers where I work at: one is a austere older women who I do not socialize with while the other is a younger women who is very nice and willing to answer all sorts of questions that I throw her way. The problem is that she got married right out of high school, had children, and then did her mechanical engineering BS & MS degrees. No one else I know is pursuing a doctorate in engineering (or anything else for that matter) and I don't really know who to turn to. My other source of information is my sorority, Alpha Omega Epsilon, but I haven't come across anyone there I know who is in the same / was in the same situation either.
My boyfriend suggested trying to find a forum or blog or other internet source where I can read and learn what others have gone through. That lead me to the blog by Young Female Scientist (YFS) and How to be a Good Graduate Student (because the author is a female and wanted to focus on women's issues...but didn't). YFS is a good blog and is very interesting for me to read because it highlights issues I may eventually encounter while working in academia but doesn't answer all of my questions and it doesn't appear to be exactly what I am looking for. I've gone through all my latest Society of Women Engineers magazines looking for information but have come up short there as well.
Where else do I turn to? Any one have any good sources of information or should I just hope I eventually ask enough people that I find good answers? Also, if anyone has answers to any of my questions or wants to volunteer to be my mentor let me know! I need help.
Crikey! I typed a lengthy comment and blogger/WordPress ate it. Let me sum up.
ReplyDeletePublishing (name): I read a lot of academic articles because I copyedit them as a part-time job. Many of the authors continue to publish after they are married. I have seen many stick with their maiden name as their "pen name." Just an idea.
Proposal/laughing: Just don't wear a clown suit when you do it.
Online community: Check the Chronicle of Higher Ed for message boards. You might find some interesting people on there. http://chronicle.com/section/Home/5
Work/life balance: I'd volunteer as a mentor, but I'm not sure I'm a great example. I worked for many years as a software engineer and I quit because I couldn't hack it. I didn't feel like I could have my career and still be the parent/spouse I wanted to be. See?? I'm a terrible example. HOWEVER, I have many friends who have done this (and done it very well--much better than I). They make it look easy, but I know it's not. Most of them are just really creative problem solvers and able to handle lots of different types of tasks at once. Because I know many success stories, I would posit that the odds of success are in your favor!
Downplaying achievements: I don't know the situation, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't recommend it. Yer smart--own it!
Good luck!
Julie - thanks!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of the "pen name" idea because I used to have one when I was younger...and it was a pain to keep up with. I think I'll try for the change name before publishing.
Thank you for the link to the chronicle of higher education. I'll definitely check out their message boards.
I can't help with all your questions, but I'm a pro with the school vs family life thing. Haha! I can say it helps temendously to have a husband that understands that school is one of your priorities and sometimes it HAS to come first. On the flip side, you have to be willing to step away from academia once in a while and put yourself and family first. I know med school isn't the same as a PhD, but when I found out I was pregnant (oops), I decided to take a semester off after S was born. Going back was hard, but worth it. I feel like I've found my niche. Jason is amazing with the baby stuff (surprising since he had no experience before) and takes the reigns if I need to study or I'm busy for a weekend with a seinar (like I hqve lately with Boards and the acupuncture and Bradley classes I have).
ReplyDeletewith the little one, I'm not sure how willing I'd be to live separately until I finished school,but without her, we'd make it work and just take the time to travel. When I first moved to IL, Jason was still in WI and we just made an effort to see each other as many weekends as we could. Ideal? No, but you do what you have to to make it work. Also, you shouldn't be the only one to make the effort ansld sacrifice. It takes 2.
And I never downplay my achievements. I'm proud that this time next year, I'll be a doctor. Jason and his parents are proud of me, too. In a way, I think he should be getting some kind of award since I would have never gotten this far without his unwaivering love, encouragement, and support. He has more confidence in me than I do myself some days and sometimes I just need reassurance that he's there no matter what.
If you ever decide to be an underachiever, I'm your man, or girl.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, speaking from having a few years more under my belt, make sure that whoever you get advice from, you have the same values. I've taken advice from people that I later regretted because, while they were successful, they came about their decisions using very different standards.