Holding On

It's funny what people with Alzheimer's retain in their memory.  Who picks what memories stay and which ones go?  Which ones get retained and what others slip away?

I stood up in my best friend's wedding this past weekend; it was a beautiful ceremony.  Because I was the maid of honor I've been in the loop for wedding details and I've mentioned them a time or two to my mother.  So when I called her on Sunday after the wedding on the way to the airport I was pleased that she remembered to ask about the wedding.  When it was, where it was, what my role in it was.  How beautiful the bride was, how handsome the groom looked in his tux.  The cold weather, the clear skies, the wishes of happiness we shared for the bride and groom.  We had a nice chat.

What didn't get retained was the fact that I would by flying to North Carolina for a business trip.  What it was, where I was going.  She remembered hurricane Sandy.  Knew that it was approaching the East Coast and that its fury would be felt on shore soon.  She asked me to call once I landed to let her know that I was all right.  Said that even though I wouldn't be in the path of the storm she still wanted to hear from me.

My plane landed at 10 PM, after she was already asleep.  I didn't call.

I waited until I was back in Wisconsin three days later to call and say that I made it safely.  That my original flight through Newark had been cancelled but I was able to find a new flight through Chicago.  She was confused, asking if the wedding was in North Carolina.  She asked about the ceremony, where it was, when it was, and what my role in it was.  It was as if we'd never spoken previously.  I told her about my business trip.  What I had done, where I'd gone.

How do you tell a story as if you've never told it before without your voice cracking?  How do you make sure to remember all the details so that the story remains the same?

I want to understand this better because it makes no sense to me.  Who decides what memories you get to keep and which ones you lose?  Is it repetition?   Is it key words?  It is strong emotional ties to an idea or a thought?  I don't understand.