I have a take home math examination I'm supposed to be working it but I can't stop thinking if it's even worth it for me to try and learn things. Why should I bother advancing my education? I'm thinking about my mom and her disease: early-onset Alzheimers. Possibly genetic. Possibly? The doctor says there is a higher risk of it being genetic if it's early-onset.
Do I have Alzheimer's? Are beta amyloid plaques slowly taking over my brain? Every time I fumble to come up with the correct word for an object I wonder. Every time I have to tell someone I don't remember that event I wonder. Every time I forget where something familiar is located I wonder. I understand that forgetting things is typical, but at what rate of occurrence? How many instances must occur within what time frame before it causes a twinge of doubt? A question of one's abilities?
I want to be tested for gene mutations. There are so many big life decisions I need to make if my mom carries the mutation, if I carry it. Life decisions I don't really want to have to make.
